I Will Never Forget by ELAINE C. PEREIRA

There are so many books written about a family member becoming weighed down with Alzheimer's disease. There are also quite a few movies about the same subject. For this reason I thought I Will Never Forget by ELAINE C. PEREIRA  wouldn't move me much. However, I spent cherished moments with this book as the author weaved her mother's healthy life toward her life as a patient with Dementia and Alzheimer's disease. I have often heard people say how a caretaker's life is altered along with the changes which happen to the patient. From reading the book it's like being thrown out in outer space with no map and little food to nourish the body. After all, most of don't know the first thing about handling a parent who is slowly becoming a child again. Elaine C. Pereira seemed to handle her mother with strength, grace and dignity. She didn't talk to her mother in a condescending manner. Neither did she just lose it and shout at her mother blaming her for a home which no longer had a schedule or days which seemed to need twenty-four more hours in order to complete the daily needs of a parent who sometimes could tell what she wanted and at other times just mumbled along knowing what she wanted but unable to get those needs understood by her daughter, nurses and doctors. I feel that the author's career as a special needs teacher might have come in handy while helping her mother. Unfortunately, most of us don't come with such credentials.

As I read the book, I wondered how many colleges now teach what it is like for a child to become a parent and the parent to become a child again. I hope many colleges have added such a course in a department like Psychology, Sociology or Human services. I have heard it said on the news and elsewhere this generation is living longer. So there are more elderly people driving cars, needing mental and physical treatments and needing grown-up children with supervisors who will understand the dilemma they are facing, a new way of life they never asked for or desired.Mrs. Pereira also had to make time to leave Michigan and fly to Germany to see her grandchildren leaving her husband to take care of her mother's needs. Let's just say he didn't have time to sit back and read a paper or look at the t.v. Mrs. Ward's world kept spinning out of control even though her daughter wasn't there with her.

The saddest part of the book, not surprisingly, for me is when the mother dies. The author wanted to be with her at that time, but she missed it by a few minutes or so. It's something so delicate and significant to know you are walking with a person as they end their journey here on earth. While healthy Betty Ward experienced the death of her husband and the death of her two sons. Another very sad moment happened when Mrs. Ward wandered outside the facility. That night it was 25 degrees. She had on no coat and nothing at all on her feet. I find it amazing that she lived through that night. Thankfully, she had given her daughter instructions about how far she wanted medical doctors to go in order to save her life. This is an intricate tale in itself. I think she also helped her daughter get through those last days by saying in so many words "I'm ready to go to God. I'm ready for my rest."

At the end of the book is a poem written by Elaine C. Pereira. There is also a quote from The Count of Monte Cristo by Alfred Dumas. I can't leave the review without giving the quote. I find it so poignant and memorable.

"The dead are not buried in the ground but in our hearts. They will be there for you when you need them."(Read at the memorial service on November 26, 2011).elainepereira iUniverse